Practically Married Read online

“Damn.”

  Leila sniffed delicately. “Zach, I don’t think I can take it anymore.”

  Knowing she couldn’t see his face, Zach allowed himself an ironic smile. I don’t think I can take it anymore had been one of Leila’s favorite lines, way back when, during the hell that had been their marriage to each other.

  Leila had more to say. “I simply cannot handle her anymore. She’s totally out of control, ruining our lives. She’s going to have to repeat her sophomore year. Derek feels we have to draw the line somewhere, and I’m afraid I’m to the point where I agree with him.”

  “Draw the line. What does that mean, exactly?”

  “You don’t have to become hostile with me.”

  “I’m not hostile, Leila.”

  “Oh, yes you are. I know how you are. Always so calm and logical, while inside, you’re just...a seething mass of unresolved anger.”

  There had been a time when Leila’s tongue could really cut into him. But not anymore. Now it just made him feel tired. He said, gently, “Let’s talk about Starr, all right? And forget all the old garbage between you and me.”

  “That was precisely my intention until you started in on me.”

  “Leila. What do you want to do about our daughter?”

  “Well.” Leila let out a long breath of air. “You’ll just have to keep her, that’s all. She’ll just have to stay with you for a while.”

  Zach felt relief then. Even though he knew his daughter would bring trouble, and he had his doubts about his ability to deal with her effectively, he wanted a chance with her. Apparently Leila was willing to let him have that chance. But he had to tread carefully. Leila could be damn vindictive. She had used Starr for years, keeping his daughter away from him as much as possible, just to get back at him. He wouldn’t put it past her to change her mind now—if she thought he really wanted Starr to stay.

  “Zach. Have you hung up?”

  “No. I’m still here. And I’m willing to have her stay.”

  Dead silence, then Leila murmured in an injured tone, “I must say, I’m glad you’ve decided to be reasonable about this for once.”

  He refrained from pointing out how often he’d suggested that Starr come and live with him. Leila tended to rewrite the past to suit whatever ax she was grinding at the moment.

  “I suppose you’ll want me to send some of her things,” Leila said.

  “Not if they’re all skin-tight skirts and combat boots.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means I’ll make sure she gets the clothes she needs here.”

  Leila made a small, harsh sound in her throat. “So superior. Always so damn superior.”

  Zach waited. No way he was going to buy into that one.

  Leila said, “I guess, to be fair, I should send back half of this month’s support check.”

  “That’s up to you.”

  “All right. I’ll send it back.”

  “Fine.”

  “You’ll call me. If there’s...anything I should know.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, then. I guess that’s all, isn’t it?”

  He agreed that it was and they said goodbye. When he looked up, he saw Starr lurking in the doorway to the dining room, pulling on a hank of that chopped-off hair. “Well?”

  He wanted to order her to wash her face and take that thing out of her nose, but he didn’t. He figured demands for changes in her appearance could wait a while. “You can stay.”

  She dragged in a huge breath and let it out dramatically. “Good. I couldn’t go back there, Daddy. I just can’t take it with her anymore.”

  He stared at her, trying to understand why such a good-looking girl would want to wear lipstick the color of dried blood. Watching her, he found himself wondering who the hell she was, anyway. Flesh of his flesh. A total and complete stranger to him. He could see how lost she was. And not damn likely to be found anytime soon. He thought, How could I have ever let her get this bad off?

  “Daddy?” Her smooth black brows drew together over her perfect nose. Even with the punk outfit and all that goo on her face, she was so beautiful, it broke his heart.

  “What, Starr?”

  “You mad?”

  “No.”

  “You seem mad.”

  “I’m not.” He heard the back door close. It would be Tess, bringing in the groceries he’d seen in the back of the Suburban. A wave of relief swept through him as he thought of his wife and her calm, steady ways. Tess could be counted on. She would help him figure out how to deal with this messed-up almost-woman who also happened to be his child.

  “Look,” he said. “Tess is bringing in the groceries. Why don’t you go on and give her a hand?”

  Starr stiffened. “Ex-cuse me? Oh right, I’m going to be treated as a servant or something, is that it?”

  Zach stared at her levelly, refusing to be baited. “Go on, Starr. Help Tess.”

  For a long moment, Starr glared right back at him. Then she shrugged. “Sure, fine. Whatever you say.” She turned and left, hips swaying, ridiculous boots clomping.

  Zach gave it a good five minutes before he followed his daughter to the kitchen. He found Tess alone, unloading grocery bags. He stood for a moment at the end of the counter, watching her, thinking how soothing just the sight of her could be to a man’s troubled mind.

  He shouldn’t stare at her, and he knew it. The relationship they’d settled on didn’t include self-indulgences like staring. But right now, after dealing with Leila and Starr, the sight of Tess was just too comforting to resist.

  Tess emptied the bags first, setting their contents on the counter. After that, she folded the bags and set them aside. Then she put what she’d bought in the pantry and the refrigerator, stacking it all neatly, each item in the place she had reserved for it, never wasting movements or space.

  “I sent Starr out to help you,” he said after he’d watched her so long he could sense her discomfort with his silence. “Did she even come in here?”

  Tess picked up a large bag of rice and a few cans of stewed tomatoes. “She was here—and she carried in some bags, too.” She turned and disappeared into the pantry, reemerging seconds later, empty-handed. “She said she was going to be staying with us.”

  “That’s right.” He realized he probably should have discussed it with Tess before he’d made the final decision. “Is that okay with you?”

  “Of course. I sent her out to get her bag from the car.”

  “Well. That’s good.”

  “She said she didn’t bring much.”

  “Yeah. I just talked to her mother. There wasn’t a lot of planning involved in this trip.”

  Tess lowered her voice. “You mean she got mad at her mother and just took off?”

  “Looks that way.” He glanced toward the central hall, to make sure his daughter wasn’t standing there, listening. “I warned you someday we might have to deal with this.”

  Tess gave him a calm, direct look. “And I said she would be welcome.”

  He felt some relief, that she wasn’t angry, that she accepted Starr’s arrival and all the upheaval it would probably bring. “All right then. I...thank you.”

  “There’s nothing to thank me for. She’s your daughter. And she has a place here.” Tess leaned back against the rim of the sink and crossed her arms under her breasts. “There’s just the one room left upstairs. I already told her to take her things up there.”

  “Sounds good.” He thought of Jobeth then, remembering why Tess had taken her to Buffalo. “Did Jo get her cast off?”

  “Yes.” Tess tipped her head toward the window over the sink. “She went straight for the barn the minute we got home. She’s probably lured that horse with the oat bucket by now. She’ll have him tacked up in no time.”

  “Tim will help her.”

  “He’d better. I told her not to ride without supervision. She has to watch that arm for a while.”

  “You know she will. She’s a great k
id.”

  “Why is it I have the feeling you’re not talking about me?” The voice came from the arch to the central hall. Zach glanced over his shoulder. Sure enough. Starr was there.

  Tess explained, “I have a daughter. Her name’s Jobeth. She’s eight.”

  “Eight.” Starr sneered. “How sweet.”

  Zach started to tell Starr to watch her mouth. But Tess caught his eye first. She gave a tiny shake of her head. He held his tongue.

  Tess said, “Do you ride, Starr?”

  Starr stuck out a hip and braced her hand on it. “Yeah. I can ride.”

  Zach reminded her, “It’s been four years since I saw you on a horse.”

  “They have horses in California, Daddy.”

  “So you’ve been riding regularly, is that what you’re saying?”

  “No, I’m just saying that I have ridden since the last time I was here. I can still ride. If I want to ride.”

  Tess asked quietly, “Do you want to ride?”

  Starr looked from Zach to Tess and back to Zach again, as if calculating ahead of time the adult response to her reply. Finally, she answered with a wary question. “Now?”

  Tess raised an eyebrow at Zach. “What do you say?”

  He shrugged, following Tess’s lead, keeping the whole transaction offhand. “Sure. I’ll ride with you. We can take Jo, too.”

  Starr looked pained. “The kid, you mean?”

  “She’s just learning,” Tess warned. “You’d have to take it a little easy with her along.”

  The violet gaze darted back and forth between the adults, measuring, gauging. Finally Starr forked a black-nailed hand through her spiky hair. “Oh, all right. She can come, I suppose. We’ll look out for her.”

  Tess said, “You’ll have to change. Do you have some jeans?”

  “Oh, right. Like I’d come to Wyoming without jeans.”

  Tess smiled. “Then you’d better go put them on.”

  A half an hour later, Tess watched from the kitchen window as Zach rode past on Ladybird, flanked by Jobeth on Callabash and Starr on a handsome six-year-old mare called Sandygirl.

  Edna, who had come over from her own house just a few minutes before to lend a hand with the evening meal, stood beside Tess.

  “That girl is so beautiful,” Edna said. “I find myself staring at her, marveling at the perfection nature can create. Too bad she has to dress like the bad guy’s girlfriend in some awful science fiction movie.”

  Tess felt the urge to defend Starr. “She did put on jeans, to ride.”

  “So?”

  “Well, the jeans were an improvement on that skirt, don’t you think?”

  “Not by much. There’s still that horrible hair. And all that stuff on her face. And if God had meant for us to poke holes in our noses—”

  Tess held up the potato she was peeling as a signal for silence. “Don’t say it. You have pierced ears yourself.”

  “That’s different.”

  Tess just looked at her friend. “Is it?”

  Fondly Edna bumped her shoulder against Tess’s. “All right. You just may have a point.” She lifted an eyebrow at Tess. “But you will try to get her to wear a brassiere, won’t you please?”

  Tess remembered the dazed, flushed look on Beau Tisdale’s face when Starr had strutted down the driveway in his direction. “Definitely. And soon.” Tess handed her potato to Edna, who began slicing it thin for au gratin.

  “What is it?” Edna asked gently.

  Tess realized she’d been staring out the window at nothing. The riders were long gone. She picked up another potato and started in on it with the peeler. “I just think Starr is so sad, that’s all. She needs love and attention so much. You can see it in those eyes of hers.”

  “But she’ll reject anyone who tries to offer it,” Edna predicted.

  “I know.”

  “You must get together with Zach on this. Really talk this through. Decide what the rules will be for Starr—and then present a united front when she tries to get by you.”

  “Good advice,” Tess said, and wondered, given the careful distance she and Zach maintained with each other, how in the world they would “get together” over the issue of poor, lost Starr.

  “I think we should talk. About Starr.”

  Tess, on the porch step, stared up through the darkness into the shadowed eyes of her husband. “I was thinking the same thing.”

  His mouth twisted in a wry grin. “I just checked on her. She’s up in her room, hooked up by her headphones to that boom box she brought with her. But I’ve noticed she can be sneaky. I look up and there she is, watching me from a doorway.”

  “I’ve noticed that, too.”

  “Got any carrots in that garden of yours yet?”

  She chuckled, feeling so happy that he had sought her out again at last—that he had thought to consult her in this situation with Starr. “My carrots need another good month in the ground. Why?”

  “We could wander out to the horse pasture, give them a treat.”

  “—And, at the same time, be sure no one will hear what we say.”

  “Exactly.”

  “How about apples? I bought a bag of them in town today, for pies.”

  “Get ’em. I’ll meet you at the back door.”

  The horses saw them coming and trotted over, just Ladybird and Callabash at first. But as soon as the others saw the treat, they wandered over, too. Within five minutes, the apple bag was empty.

  The horses snorted and nuzzled for more. But when they got nothing but empty hands, they turned one by one and ambled away. Tess folded the empty apple bag and tucked it into a back pocket to put away once she returned to the house.

  Zach hoisted himself up to sit on the top rail of the fence. He looked back toward the house for a moment, then down at Tess. “The last time Starr came here, I told her she had to live by my rules if she wanted to stay with me. That drove her away completely, I think.”

  Tess could hear the regret in his voice and hastened to point out, “Still, a child does need rules.”

  “I think so, too. And she remembers, I know she does. She knows that in choosing to come here, she’s chosen to do as she’s told—at least, to a certain extent. So my bet is that she’s going to be on her best behavior for a while.”

  Tess thought his reasoning made sense. So far, aside from a few snide remarks and sulky looks, Zach’s daughter had done everything she’d been told to do. She’d carried in groceries, lugged her bags up to her room and put the sheets on her bed. She’d grudgingly agreed to let “the kid” go riding with her and Zach. She’d even set the table at dinner and helped clear off afterward.

  Tess leaned against the fence post. “What do you mean, she’ll be on her best behavior for a while?”

  “I mean, sooner or later she’ll be testing us out, trying to push the boundaries.”

  Tess thought of Starr’s sullen looks and snide remarks. “I’m afraid you’re probably right.”

  “So we need clear rules, for when she does start pushing.”

  “Agreed. Such as?”

  “I was thinking a ten o’clock curfew, when she starts chomping at the bit to go out nights. And then only one or two nights a week. She’s got to show us we can trust her. And then we’ll see about letting her stay out later.” He stared back toward the house again. Even in the soft, dim light from the half-moon, Tess could see the worry in his eyes. “I don’t know,” he said.

  “What?”

  “Starr. I don’t know her at all. Her mother said she’s cut a lot of school. Stayed out all night, a lot of nights, with a bad crowd. Her grades were so bad, she’ll have to do her sophomore year again. And who knows what else? Drugs?” He met Tess’s eyes. She knew he was wondering about the boys Starr might have been staying out all night with—and what exactly she might have been doing with them.

  She started to reach out, to put her hand on his knee in a gesture of reassurance. But she stopped herself before she did it. T
hey might be having their first real conversation in days, but that didn’t mean he would welcome her touch. She folded her arms over her middle and looked down at the ground, then back up at him. “Let’s not borrow trouble, all right? We’ll show her she can count on us. Trust us. And we’ll show her we expect to be able to trust her. Over time, God willing, she’ll open up to us a little.”

  He made a low noise of agreement. “That’s the best we can do, I suppose.”

  “We’ll give her a choice, when it comes to chores. Housework or ranchwork. How’s that?”

  He groaned. “I hope she chooses the house.”

  She gave him a look. “Thanks. But she should get a choice.”

  “All right. And about that thing in her nose...”

  “Don’t even mention it.”

  “What?”

  “It hurts no one. Not really. And you know it. I’m sure it drove her mother crazy, when she did it. And if it drives us crazy, that’s probably enough reason to punch a hole in some other part of her body. Let it be, I’m telling you.”

  He shook his head. “I hate it, but you’re probably. right.” His gaze sought hers again. “What about her clothes?”

  “She didn’t bring much with her. I’ll take her shopping.”

  “I was hoping you’d say that.”

  “And since this is a ranch, she won’t be running around in thigh-high tight skirts too much. I’ll try to get her to work with me on choosing appropriate things to wear.” Including underwear, she added silently.

  He gave a low, humorless laugh. “Somehow, appropriate isn’t the word that comes to mind when I think about things that Starr might want to wear.”

  “You’ll have to trust me on this,” she insisted, with a lot more confidence than she felt.

  He was grinning. “Glad to. And good luck.”

  “Thanks. I’ll need it.”

  They smiled at each other—for just a second too long. Tess felt the yearning start.

  And so did Zach.

  His imagination, reined up tight of late, broke free.

  He saw himself sliding down from the fence, reaching for her, pulling her close, lowering his mouth to hers the way he had done that night over a week ago on the porch. He remembered the way her body had felt, so soft and pliant, against his. He remembered the sweet, womanly scent of her, the velvet moistness of her mouth when it opened under his.