The Prince She Had to Marry Read online

  She rose when he came in. “Alex.” With a supreme effort of will, she kept her voice calm and even. “I’m very angry with you. This is all wrong. You haven’t kept your word to me.”

  He actually had the stones to shrug. And he said, with nerve-flaying reasonableness, “I needed for you to marry me, for the child’s sake.”

  Her throat clutched. She longed to clear it with a nice, long, loud shriek of outrage. But she didn’t. She remembered her mother, who never raised her voice, and her unborn baby, who deserved better from her. “So you lied to me.” She gave him back his damnable reason, and then some. “Straight to my face, without a qualm. You lied to me. You made promises you had no intention of keeping.”

  “Spare me the drama, Lili.”

  Her adrenaline spiked. She sucked in a calming breath and refused to give in to it. “Drama?”

  “Drama, yes. Your stock in trade.”

  “I beg your pardon. I’m not being dramatic. I have not raised my voice. I have not picked up a single object to hurl at that obstinate head of yours. I am simply asking you, why did you lie to me?”

  “I just told you why I lied. You left me no choice.”

  “Don’t you talk to me about choices, Alexander. You had a choice. You could have been truthful. You could have told me honestly that you had no intention of ever making any effort to be a real husband to me.”

  “And have you do something ridiculous, like run away or stage a big scene where you swore publicly never to marry me? No. There needed to be a marriage, and with as little fuss as possible. We owed that to the child. If you’re not happy with the way things are, so be it. Divorce me.”

  She gasped and sputtered. “Oh, you ought to be ashamed.”

  “I’m not ashamed. Not in the least. And as far as the divorce goes, consider the child, won’t you? Wait until he’s born, so his legitimacy will never be at issue.”

  “You know very well I don’t believe in divorce. Marriage is forever.”

  “What can I say? So then, get used to the way things are. Go about living your life and I will go about living mine.”

  Lili shook her head. “I do not believe this. The way you manipulated me, that was so...clever,” she said in disgust. “The way you bargained with me, the way you refused to read books on love and marriage or to see a counselor or a priest...”

  He arched a brow. “I had to make you believe I actually intended to do what you asked of me, to try, as you put it. If I’d given you an easy agreement to everything you demanded, you would only have become suspicious. You’d have guessed that I didn’t have any intention of doing what I agreed to do.”

  She did more deep breathing. “You are impossible. Incorrigible.”

  “Good night, Lili.” He started to turn.

  She reached out and grabbed his granite slab of an arm. “Wait.”

  He stopped, eased his arm free of her grip and told her flatly, “There’s nothing more to say.”

  “Yes, there is. I have a...question, a question that’s been bothering me for weeks now.”

  “Lili, please...”

  She wanted to cry, to break down and sob her heart out. But somehow, she controlled herself. She held the tears at bay. “I just...I don’t understand, Alex. Why in the world did you have sex with me in the first place?”

  That got to him. He actually looked at a loss for a moment. But then he regained his inhuman composure. He said in a tone that spoke of limitless boredom, “I’m a man. You’re a woman. It happens.”

  “No. Uh-uh. That’s not good enough. What happened between us that morning was so hopelessly mad, so completely insane. And so very beautiful.”

  “Lili, don’t.” His voice had a ragged edge to it now.

  And she refused to back off. “I mean it. It makes no sense. It’s true you’re not smooth or romantic by nature. You’re hardly the kind who sweeps a woman off her feet. You’re more the type to knock her down and drag her off to your cave. But you are a prince. Women love princes. And there are a lot of women—beautiful, desirable women—who find the strong and surly type irresistible. You could have slaked your lust with one of them.”

  He actually blinked. “Slaked my lust?”

  “Well, I mean, if lust was your problem that day.”

  “My... What in the... My lust?” Now he was the one sputtering.

  Truth to tell, she found his sudden agitation rather satisfying. “I’m only remarking that you could have been with someone you don’t totally despise, someone on birth control, for heaven’s sake.”

  He blinked some more. “That’s a ridiculous question—or did you even ask a question?”

  “I did. I asked you why you had sex with me. Why, Alex? Just tell me why.”

  He narrowed those strange, piercing eyes at her. They were looking considerably more lively than usual, those eyes of his. He hedged, “It’s a ridiculous question.”

  She didn’t give in. “No, it’s not. Answer me.”

  Of course he just had to turn it around on her. “Why did you have sex with me?”

  She hitched up her chin at him. “You’re just trying to put me off.”

  “You don’t have an answer, do you?” he asked smugly. “I see no reason why I should have to answer a question you can’t even answer yourself.”

  As it happened, she did have an answer to her own question. She’d spent a lot of time pondering that one. “All right. Fine. I’ll go first. I had sex with you because I was sad and desperate, because I’d lost Rule, and was having to admit that I’d never had Rule, that I’d believed myself in love with someone who never thought of me that way, someone with whom I’d never shared anything but a...mutual fondness. And then you let me in your door, you listened to me. Or so I thought. Until you finally spoke and told me how my ‘petty problems’ meant nothing. I was outraged then. That I had been such a fool as to cry in front of you, as to pour out my suffering to someone like you. I raised my hand to slap you and you caught my wrist and...all at once, I looked in your eyes and I wanted to be lost in them. So I was. For a little while.”

  He seemed calmer suddenly. And not in a good way. For a moment, she’d had his attention, raised a spark. But now, he’d shut her out, retreated behind his walls of nonresponsiveness again. “My reasons were similar to yours,” he said evenly.

  “Oh, please. What hopeless love had you lost?”

  “Not love. Not that kind of love. But I have...lost.”

  She understood then. “Your friend. Your American friend...”

  That did it. His eyes went flat. Whatever opening she’d had with him, so briefly, was completely gone. His mind and heart were shut tight against her.

  He said, “I’ll tell you once more. We needed to be married. That’s the end of it as far as I’m concerned. We can stay married and lead our own separate lives. Or not. That will be your choice.”

  “I do not believe this is happening.”

  “Believe it,” he said.

  “You’re a liar.”

  He didn’t even flinch. “Call me what you will.”

  “I thought that... Well, as much as I’ve always disliked your judgmental pronouncements and superior attitude toward me, I held on to the belief that you were a man of integrity. That your word was your bond. Never would I have pegged you as someone who would lie outright, who would make a bargain and then renege on it without a second thought. But I see I was wrong. I see that I’ve married a man who will blithely lie if he thinks a lie is ‘necessary.’ I can’t even trust you to keep your word. And if I can’t trust you to keep your word, Alex, what is the point of even trying with you?”

  He tipped his big head to the side and asked, “Is that a real question?”

  “Yes, of course it is.”

  “Then here’s your answer, Lili. There is no point in trying with me. Stop wasting your breath and your overwrought emotions. Good night.” And with that, he turned on his heel and left her.

  She didn’t try to stop him that time. She k
new he would only shake off her grip and keep walking.

  Yes, she did long to trail after him. She hated giving up. Even now, when he’d made it so achingly clear that he was never going to be a real husband to her, she wanted to follow him, to confront him again, to insist that he talk with her, that he come to some sort of real understanding with her. And failing understanding, she longed to call him any number of horrible names and perhaps throw some small, heavy figurine at his head.

  But then she thought of her mother who would never resort to screaming fits or tantrums or displays of violence. Her beloved, lost mum never even had to raise her voice to get her man’s attention. Lili thought of her baby who deserved a mother in command of her emotions. She said a prayer for patience to the Holy Virgin. And she told herself that if she had nothing else at that moment, she had her dignity.

  And then she went to the bedroom Alex was apparently never going to share with her and got out her electronic reading device and read a long, delicious romance. In that romance the heroine was fearless and clever and so very resourceful, a woman who saved her hero’s life when they were stranded in the jungle. The handsome, wealthy hero thought he knew everything. At first. There was lovely, snappy dialogue and things got pretty rough for the two of them. Lili almost worried that they wouldn’t end up together. But by the end, love saved the day. The pair settled down to share a lifetime of wedded happiness.

  Life should be more like a romance novel. Lili truly believed that.

  She put her e-reader away and turned out the light and did her best not to think about Alex, about how she probably should have guessed what he was up to when he promised to try and make a real marriage with her. After all, she’d known him her whole life. He’d been the bane of her existence for as long as she could remember. He’d been telling her not to be a fool, not to be so silly, not to make up stories, not to cry and carry on since...well, since forever.

  Leopards don’t make a habit of changing their spots. And Alex wasn’t going to change. Except in the ways he’d already changed after his near-death experiences in Afghanistan—which was to become even more difficult and distant and surly than before.

  She wasn’t a quitter. There was a thread of steel within her that few recognized as such. Plus, she was resourceful when she needed to be.

  But with Alex, she felt stymied. Stopped. Cut off from the possibility of ever making any sort of real marriage with him.

  He not only despised her, he had actually lied to get her to agree to marry him. He’d tricked her into marriage.

  And now she was stuck. Unwilling to divorce him. Unable to get through to him.

  Lili refused to believe that any situation was truly hopeless. All problems had solutions. Even this one. She simply hadn’t found that solution yet. “I will find a way. I will work this out. I will get through to him, reach him, somehow...” she whispered to the darkness, like a prayer. Like a mantra.

  But her prayer didn’t seem to be helping much. She didn’t believe in giving up. But with a man like Alex, what else was a woman to do?

  * * *

  By morning, Lili had made a decision. It wasn’t a happy one. But what could she do?

  She would stay away from him—for the time being. Until some new approach came to her, she decided she’d be better off to stop beating her head against the stone wall that her new husband had for a heart. She would get on with her life.

  The charade that the two of them were deeply in love made it necessary for her to remain in the same apartment with him. So be it. She laid claim to the extra bedroom—the one he wasn’t using to sleep in. On one side of the room, she created an office space where she could keep up her voluminous correspondence and keep track of the large number of charitable organizations to which she contributed. She sat on the boards of three of those organizations, so there was actual office work to do, as well as communications to handle. And then there were her duties as heir presumptive to her father’s throne. She kept abreast of anything and everything that concerned the well-being of her country and her people.

  When her charities, her correspondence and her preparation to be queen were dealt with for the day, she painted. She used the other half of the spare bedroom for her art. Lili loved to get lost in her painting. She worked in watercolors. They were so soft and transparent and full of light. She painted butterflies and secret forest glens where cute, spotted fawns gamboled. She painted the gardens at D’Alagon and the courtyards at the Prince’s Palace. She painted unicorns because they were sweet and mystical and innocent. Because they were everything her cold, distant husband seemed to find silly and shallow and without merit.

  Beyond the activities she pursued in her new office studio, she spent time with Alex’s sisters and with Sydney, Rule’s wife. At night, she had her romance novels to keep her company, to keep the spark of love and hope alive in her heart.

  Three days went by—days in which Lili hardly saw her new husband. Now and then she caught sight of him coming or going from the apartment they shared. She ignored him. She had nothing whatsoever to say to him.

  On the fourth day after her wedding, she was in her office studio painting a pair of flamingoes facing each other, beaks pressed together so that their heads and long necks formed a heart, when her father came to say goodbye to her. He was returning to Alagonia. He wanted to tell her he would send her lady-in-waiting to her.

  Lili nipped that idea in the bud. “I really have no need of Solange now, Papa. There’s no room for anyone else here in the apartment and my chambermaid, Pilar, is in and out all day, helping wherever I need her. I think it’s time we...set cousin Solange free to go back to her own life.”

  “You’re certain, my little love?”

  “Yes.”

  Then he wanted to know if she was feeling well, and how things were going with Alex.

  Lili lied to him outright. She told him that she felt wonderful and that she and Alex were getting along beautifully. She actually did feel better physically, now that she no longer had to agonize over what was going to happen when the truth about the baby came out. But she did feel guilty, very guilty, as she told the big lie about her relationship with her new husband. She also felt somewhat humbled, considering how harshly she’d judged Alex for lying to her.

  But she told her father the lie anyway. She couldn’t afford not to. Her father was too hotheaded by half. If he thought that Alex was treating her badly, there was no telling what he might do.

  She kissed him goodbye and promised to return to Alagonia for a visit very soon. And after he was gone, she thought about Alex, about how he probably really had felt it was necessary to lie to her, how she knew he’d only wanted to do the right thing by her and her child.

  So, all right, she could understand why he lied.

  But she still felt trapped. She remained angry with him. She just wasn’t willing to try again to get through to him.

  Why bother? It wasn’t as though he would ever meet her halfway.

  That day, she had a visit from Arabella, the oldest of Alex’s sisters. Belle was a nurse who had received her training in America and who worked long and tirelessly for Nurses Without Borders, an international aid society that Lili actively supported.

  “I’m going to South Sudan tomorrow,” Belle said. She often traveled to dangerous places where people desperately needed aid.

  Lili set down her watercolor brush and said, “Why don’t I go with you?”

  * * *

  They were gone for eight days. Paparazzi and more serious newspeople followed them everywhere. That was the point, to use their status as royal celebrities to bring attention to the cause. More than one reporter asked Lili where her new husband the prince might be. Lili told them that her groom had “important work” to do in Montedoro and couldn’t make the trip with her. When asked if she missed him, she answered coolly, “Of course.”

  The morning after their return, Lili had breakfast in the sovereign’s private apartment with Adrienne and E
van, and with three of Alex’s sisters, including Belle. Max, the heir, and his children were there. So were Sydney and Rule and their son, Trevor, and Sydney’s dear friend Lani, who lived at the palace with them.

  Alex failed to put in an appearance. Most likely, he’d had Rufus fix him something early and then headed off to the training yard to spend the day with his men. Or maybe not. Who knew? Lili certainly didn’t. She hadn’t seen him since she’d caught a glimpse of him going out the door of their apartment the day before she left for Africa with Belle.

  As she was leaving the breakfast room, Adrienne caught her hand. “Lili, my darling, I would like a few words with you. My office, at eleven?” Her Sovereign Highness spoke kindly, as always. And with fondness.

  Still, a shiver of unease tickled the skin between Lili’s shoulder blades and her stomach felt queasy for the first time in days. She pulled her fingers free of Adrienne’s and replied that of course, she would be there.

  * * *

  At a few minutes before eleven, Adrienne’s private secretary ushered her into the sovereign’s large, beautifully appointed palace office. Adrienne was there and so was Evan. Alex’s mother greeted her warmly and led her over to the conversation area, which consisted of two large sofas, a coffee table and a couple of Louis XV wingback chairs. She asked her secretary to serve tea for four.

  Four. Who else was expected?

  Lili didn’t ask. She felt that funny tightness between her shoulder blades again. And then in walked the man she’d made the dreadful error of marrying exactly two weeks before. Her stomach lurched.

  And her silly heart ached at the sight of him. He looked so terribly bleak. So tragically self-contained. She hurt for him, for his loneliness that he wrapped himself in like a shroud.

  She ached for him and then she told herself to stop it. It was his choice to cut himself off from other people—to trick her into marriage and then throw away that marriage without even giving what they might have shared a chance.

  He didn’t look the least pleased to see her. “Lili,” he said gruffly, with a regal nod.